Assalamualaikum,
Setiap hari rindu dengan my pumpkin. Especially bila dah ada baby dalam perut ni. Yeah baby still small and I don't feel like pregnant yet. Still, I miss my husband and I want him by my side. Selalu fikir macamana la keadaan aku nanti bila perut dah besar. Bila morning sickness datang menjengah. Tak ada suami nak usap-usap belakang kalo muntah.. Takde suami nak tolong urut-urut kaki kalau tetiba cramp.. Takde suami nak tolong amik makanan kalo lapar di tengah malam. Sob sob sedihnye rasa....
I keep telling myself not to think about it too much. Thinking about it will just make things worst and won't bring any help! Makin susah hati ada la kan? Tapi tapi tapi.... buatla ape sekalipun tetap teringat dan terfikir..
I promise my pumpkin to be strong. Hari-hari janji dengan dia dan janji dengan diri sendiri nak jadi kuat. Tak nak ikut perasaan. Tapi semalam saya gagal....... Semalam kan birthday... People keep asking how's your first birthday with your newly wedded husband? Oh, sayunye hati.. I know I know, I shouldn't give a damn with all this question. I can simpy answer them, "alah, macam biasa aje. Maklumle, suami kan dok jauhhh.." and then act like I'm tough. But..... deep down inside, Tuhan saja yang tahu. Aku sedih. Aku pun nak merasa sambut birthday dengan suami. Sambut tak sambut tak kisahla, just that it would be good if he is by my side.. If he could hug and kiss me on my birthday. It would be more meaningful to me.. Tapi sayangnya, dia jauh... I can only imagine it.. Makanya my birthday this year, sama saja dengan birthday tahun sebelum ni. Nothing special. Sedih kan?
Maafkan sayang, abang.. I have let you down.. Sayang terlalu mengikut perasaan. I know if I want to survive long distance relationship, I need to overcome all this stupid feelings. Yeah.. jangan layan sangat kan? I'll try my dear I'll try.. Give me more time.. Give more chance!
Haih, harusla keraskan hati lagi...
Tapi still tak tahan godaan haha. I'm going to Lumut tonight. Naik bas pun naik bas la. My pumpkin suddenly free this week. Don't want to let go the chance to be with him. Lagipun, puasa nanti susah sket nak jumpa cos he'll be very busy with his project. Ni satu lagi sedih. Takleh merasa puasa pertama sebagai suami isteri. Nak appy cuti on Monday, 1 August tapi tak boleh. Sibuk dengan report. Plus keje yang banyak. Tak nakla susahkan colleagues yang lain untuk cover keje aku. Berkorban lah... Sorry sayang. Tak dapat sediakan sahur.. Tak dapat sediakan juadah berbuka... Tak dapat terawikh bersama :'(
Wahai hati, tolongla tabah!
Tolong sape-sape ajar saya untuk jadi kuat. Boleh?

